See what happens when I blog before coffee?

I become an insufferable bonehead. The most important thing in my life is not, for the record, my comforter. I have freedom, intellect (not large, but functional), a healthy body (likewise not large, but functional), a wonderful girlfriend, good friends both globally and locally, and a family. Which puts my comforter fifth. Maybe even sixth.

And after two cups of coffee yesterday and a class where my students did group presentations on The Faerie Queene and actually said interesting things, I was upgraded from Grumpy to Downright Nonchalant. Even a long day with two flaccid composition classes and a department meeting didn't wreck it. Which leads me to believe that the main influences on my mood are not the ones that I had diagnosed yesterday. Fatigue, weather, drug withdrawal, stress, relative isolation (or solitude if you prefer), the daily news, these things which seem on the surface to be determining factors, are not really. All I need to feel okay is the sense that I've been productive recently. Even if it's as small as having done some situps, washed some dishes, and read an article, if I feel like I'm doing something good for me, I'm all right.

Drinking enough water, eating vegetables, and stretching might also have more to do with it than I think. I'm not a shrink, after all, and I'll never again be able to afford one, so I have to do my best.

Harriet Miers is withdrawn! Bush admitted a mistake! What the hell? Is the world ending? This must be a good thing, right? We don't have an incompetent Bush crony on the Supreme Court, for one thing, but also it indicates that some of the people who have some influence on the Jackass in Chief are not just religious kookballs.

Speaking of whom, it's amazing what you can learn about today's Christians from listening to the radio. I remember when that Old Time Religion included helping the poor, clothing the naked, loving your neighbor, suffering the little children, that sort of thing. But in just ten minutes of WRVM (Wisconsin Radio's Voice of the Master), I learned not only predictable and stupid things, but many downright pernicious ones. That dinosaur bones are only a few thousand years old and that "scientists" have NO IDEA what killed them is only ignorant dumbassery, but then we Christians got a "Washington Minute" that compared pollution controls to failing fad diets and pointed out that they are expensive and are just making European industries go to Asia. Therefore we must NOT try to control pollution at all. Then the ever-admirable Phyllis Schlafely came on to argue against Universal pre-school bills. Apparently the evil liberals in some states think pre-school is a good idea, even pre-school with trained teachers! This would cost money, said Phyllis, which would come from a tax on the "so-called super-rich".

"So-Called"? Really? Does she really think there aren't such people, like DeLay thinks no one is trying to feed a family on minimum wage?

Suffer the little children. Camel. Eye of a needle. I think maybe some Christians should break off again and form not just a new sect but a new religion. Cut and paste your favorite holy texts. Bits of the gospels can stay -- there's some great Jew-burning stuff in Matthew -- but I think we're mostly dealing with Genesis, Deuteronomy, Leviticus, and Revelations. Plus we'll have to add the Left Behind novels and The Purpose Driven Life.

What could we call this new religion? I'm open to suggestions.