There are some seriously Loco Parentis out there

There'll be personal news updates shortly, but you have to see this. I have never received an e-mail about a student like this and I'm seething with rage and sympathy for my poor student. This student, by the way, is a sweet, chipper, ridiculously enthusiastic student, smarter than she thinks and hardworking to the point of drafting a four-page paper five times. Here is what her loving papa writes:

Dear Professor Sapientis,

I am writing to ask you about the progress of my daughter, V.W. in your Literature & Composition class that meets on mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays. You may check with the office if you desire, but I do have a waiver on file, signed by V, stating that you are able to discuss and send her grades to my wife and me.

Usually we would have e-mailed you at the beginning of the semester, instead of waiting until mid-term, but things have been so hectic with us working two jobs each in order to pay for her college, that we simply have not had the time to do so.

We are very involved parents, as I am sure V's previous teachers have already told you if you had the opportunity to talk to them, and try to stay on her in order to ensure she is putting forth her best effort. Being a teacher myself, I know how important it is to have parent involvement, even at a college level. Unfortunately, we have discovered that while she is a delightful young lady, V is also manipulative and lazy if not corrected (emphasis mine). She tends to do very well in class discussions, but not well on tests due to poor study habits. It is not that she can not do the work, but that she would rather have others do it for her if allowed. She has to be checked up on constantly to make sure she is concentrating on grades, and not getting too involved in social activities and too many clubs.

Please e-mail either myself or my wife to let us know how V is doing. We want to be sure she is not skipping classes nor receiving anything less than a "C" average ("B" would be better).

Please also feel free to send us a quick e-mail at any time in the future if you see any patterns emerging, or if you have any concerns. We are always available, and I will be glad to drive up to meet with you if you so desire. I did it several times last semester at the request of professors.

Sincerely,

R.W.

I have never felt so sorry for one of my students before. I wonder if she knows her father writes her professors to tell them she is lazy and manipulative. I certainly hope they live very far away and don't drive around checking up on her all her life. Can anyone give me some advice? I want to put her into the Witness Protection Program or something to get her away from this paranoid fascist arsewipe forever.