Disconnected thought-kibbles

Here's me avoiding grading. I can't bear looking at the papers. I want to keep liking my students and thinking they're intelligent. Grading prevents that. So I let my mind wander instead:

• Know what'd be a good name for a Mötley Crüe cover band? "Ünnecessary Ümlaüt."
• I Googled myself again (see what I mean about avoiding the grading?); turns out there was someone of my name (even my somewhat weird spelling) working as a barrister at the Old Bailey in 1807.
• Secrecy within English Department seacrh committees is a leaky vessel indeed. My dissertation director sends fact-finding e-mails to department chairs, and I've got friends on search committees who apparently don't find it an ethical bind to let me know how their search process is going. Thank goodness English profs don't run the CIA, I guess.
• They recovered M's car: broken to pieces and burning in a hospital parking lot. Sinister, eh? I thought the burning indicated that the thieves used the car to commit a crime, and for a moment I thought "Well, at least they put it to some use; that's more comforting than blind stupid violent destruction." But then of course it struck me that a crime that required fire to destroy evidence is likely not to be a good thing, so perhaps it's not a prefereable thought.
• Man U beats Chelsea. I don't know how I feel about that. Chelsea losing is good, but does that mean that Man U winning is good? These difficult moral quandaries that make up adult life!